


Mass Effect Drabble Collection

by Opalgirl



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Community: me_challenge, Drabble Collection, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 03:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 10,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalgirl/pseuds/Opalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of my Mass Effect drabbles (or short one-shots) written for the weekly insanity rounds over at LJ's <a href="http://me-challenge.livejournal.com">me_challenge.</a> Prompts in chapter titles, multiple pairings (or lack thereof).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prompt: when we get done saving the world, can we do something fun?

**Author's Note:**

> f!Shep and Joker, silly "we saved the world, now what?" genfic.

“Hey, Commander?” Joker glanced up at her from his meal tray. “Listen, y’know, after taking out the Collectors and telling the Illusive Man to go suck—”

“All right, I get the point. After saving the universe—”

“--again. Don’t want to let them forget that, boss. You’ve done it twice now—aren’t you entitled to danger pay or a pension or somethin’? A medal or three, maybe?”

She felt her lips twitch and let the smile form. “Nah. It doesn't count until the third time you do it.”

“That’s bullshit, if you ask me. But if anybody would do it, it’d be you.” Joker shoved reconstituted potatoes around on his plate with his fork as he spoke.

“Nice to know you’ve still got that hero-worship going on for me, Joker,” she teased.

“ _Anyway_ ,” the helmsman continued. “After all that don’t you think you at least deserve a vacation?”

Shepard thought for a moment and then she laughed, shaking her head.

“Uh… Commander? You wanna share the joke?”

Great. Now she probably had her subordinates thinking she was insane. _Again._ But, god. “Do you _know_ the last time I had a vacation?”

“Uh, no.”

“Unless we’re counting the two years I spent on an operating table…”

“No. No, _that_ doesn’t count as a vacation,” Joker said firmly, aiming his fork squarely at her.

“Okay. So… without that, the last time I had a vacation was before I was assigned to Anderson’s crew on the original _Normandy._ I’d just finished a tour on the _Madrid_ and I was in-between postings.”

“That’s… _way_ too damned long.”

“The geth didn’t seem particularly concerned with making sure I got my leave, you know? And the Council? Yeah, forget it.”


	2. Prompt: Brawl on the Normandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly sparring/practice match between Ash and f!Shep.

"You know Joker's taking bets on this?" She pants, watching Ash's body. A subtle movement gives away the Gunnery Chief's next move. Shepard dodges right and hooks Ashley's legs out from under her.

Ashley swears and stumbles, but doesn't fall. "Then I want a cut," she says, straightening.

"Ah, c'mon, Chief. Just a friendly spar."

Ashley snorts as they circle around each other, watching for a cue, a subtle sign that gives away their movement. "Still haven't seen anything that they teach you fancy N7 ops. You holdin' out on me?"

"You wouldn't want to." Ashley's not as fast as she could be, but she's strong and when she goes in, she hits hard. "Trust me."

"Bring it."

She sees the punch coming, dodges right, and seizes Ashley's arm. With a pull, Shepard's got her pinned and sends her subordinate flying over her hip.

Ash doesn't even know what's hit her until she hits the mat with a grunt and taps out.

"Damn," Ashley says, as Shepard helps her up. "Hate to fight you hand-to-hand for real."


	3. Prompt: calling out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep and Legion, gen.

"Damn it, Legion!"

The geth turned to face her, aperture whirling. "Shepard-Commander?"

"It's _you_ that keeps slaughtering me in _Code of Honour_ isn't it? EDI said it was someone aboard ship."

"This unit was not aware that you played video games, Shepard-Commander."

"And since when do you play them? Is it even fair for you to play with the rest of us organics?"

If the geth were capable of shrugging, she swore it would have. "Acknowledged, Shepard-Commander. This unit will attempt to reach a consensus about this matter."


	4. Prompt: Not dead yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrus and Zaeed, gen.

"Archangel."

Garrus glanced up at the old merc Shepard had recruited and shook his head. "Massani. It's Garrus, but I guess I can still answer to that."

The human had arms the size of small cannons, extensive scarring and tattoos, and never seemed to change out of his armour.

"You know who I am?"

Garrus sighed. " _Everyone_ in the right line of work knows who you are, Massani. You've got an impressive list of jobs."

"Goddamn right I do. There was a huge bounty out for you. They were saying you were dead. You look pretty damned good for dead, turian."

"I'm not dead yet. Blame Shepard for that."

A moment passed where the old man just looked at him and Garrus finally had to ask, "you have an issue with me, Massani? Want to try to collect that bounty?"

"Hell, no. You picked off a lot of people that pissed me the hell off. Nice work."


	5. Prompt: Don't think this changes anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep, Miranda, and Jacob gen "I wouldn't trust the Illusive Man as far as I could throw him" fic.

"This doesn't change a damn thing," she growled, looking at her self-appointed XO and Jacob. "We're getting the job done. That doesn't make me your--or your boss's--toy."

Miranda opened her mouth, but Jacob silenced her. "You're your own woman, Commander," he said, nodding.

"The Illusive Man decided against implanting a control chip in your head," Miranda added. "So you are very much your own woman."

"And this still doesn't mean I trust you. I've seen what you people are capable of. You're practically terrorists." She remembered Akuze, fresh as if it was yesterday, and clenched her hands together behind her back. "And when the boss calls, you'll go back."

"I never expected you to trust us, Shepard. But we do have a common goal." Miranda circled around the comm room, her posture picture-perfect.

"If you believe what the Illusive Man says, we do. But I don't believe him."


	6. Prompt: brawl on the Normandy, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker and crew + a friendly betting pool.

"Give me ten on Shepard!"

"Five on Alenko!"

"Six on Shepard!"

"Ten on Alenko!"

"You really think he stands a chance? No way. The Commander's gonna kick his ass."

"It is what she does best...."

"Oh, shut up and place your bet, Williams!"

"Fifteen on Shepard!"

Joker groans a little and enters the crew's wagers. Shepard would kill them all if she knew they were betting on the outcome of her friendly sparring match with Alenko. And _he_ might kill them all if they don't stop yelling at him.


	7. Prompt: calling out pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep/Thane.
> 
>  
> 
> ARRIVAL SPOILERS AHOY.

For the first time since he came aboard, Shepard enters Thane's quarters in Life Support and finds his back turned to the door and to her.

"Thane?" she tries.

He doesn't move or turn to face her. " _Siha_ ," he responds, his voice carefully neutral. "I realize we have made no promises and that promises are no good when one is essentially a dead man."

She takes a breath and waits for him to continue. _Put me on trial for war crimes. I think this is worse_.

"However, I cannot help but feel... not betrayed, but _excluded_. You left without informing anyone where you had gone, or what your objectives were. You went alone."

She bites her lip a moment and fiddles with the zipper on her jumpsuit before she says, "if I'd taken a team down there, the mission would've ended before it had even begun. I had to go alone. I'm sorry."

Thane shifts in his seat, head inclined towards her. "Had you told us, we would have insisted upon accompanying you. I understand your rationale, _siha_ , but that does not make it easier."

She frowns, trying to sort out what he's just said. _Easier for who--oh._ "Krios," she says, trying to inject some humour into the moment, "are you saying you were worried about me?"

Faster than she'd have thought possible, Thane is on his feet and facing her, his eyes unblinking and serious.

"Did you think I would not worry?" he demands, folding his arms. "Two solar days of radio silence from you. We had only the faintest idea of where you were and no idea what might have happened to you. Do you truly think so little of yourself that you think no one would worry about you?"

"What? I just--no. I was teasing. I know I worried you and I'm sorry. If I hadn't been sedated for nearly two days, I wouldn't have gone quiet so long."

"Ah. I see." Thane blinks. "We did worry for you, _siha_. Myself in particular, I am afraid to admit."

 _Irikah. He wasn't able to protect her and he isn't able to protect me_ , she realizes. "I'm back and I'm in one piece," she tells him, reaching out both her arms. "Come here. I'll prove it to you, if you like."


	8. Prompt: Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colonist f!Shep and her foster family, post-Mindoir.

Her foster parents are an older couple living on a Martian homestead. They're good people, but they aren't _her_ family.

The whispers follow her everywhere in the little settlement. The locals treat her like she's dangerous. She's not welcome. She has no home. This red planet in the Local Cluster is so different from a farm planet out on the edges of the Traverse.

The dust chokes her, the storms unsettle her, and she wants to go _home_. Wants to feel rain on her skin, listen to her mother read from her books, hear her father singing while he works. She's never been so far but she can't go home. Not anymore.

Her foster mother is known simply as 'the Lieutenant' by the locals; a veteran of the First Contact War.

"When I was about your age, girl, I grabbed a rifle and went to war. I still don't know if that was a good idea," is all she'll say about her service.

As she shuttles off Mars to Alliance boot camp with a dozen other recruits, she realizes that the place never was home, and that's why she isn't sad to leave it. Her home--what's left of it--is further away than it's ever been.


	9. Prompt: Don't think this changes anything pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Miranda gen, set post-game.

Jack rolled her eyes as she heard footsteps coming down the cargo hold. “Damn it, Shepard, don’t you have anything else to do?” she demanded, not even looking at the staircase.

The footsteps stopped. “It’s not Shepard, Jack.”

She turned around toward the staircase, surprised. “What the fuck do _you_ want? You get lost?”

The Cerberus Cheerleader, with her high-and-mighty I’m-better-than-you fucking attitude, didn’t blink. “No,” she said.

“No? Do me a favour and _get lost_ , then.”

“I just wanted to talk.”

Jack glared at the other woman and slouched back on her cot, keeping her pistol within easy reach. “Go find someone else to talk to. I don’t want to talk to _you_ , Cerberus.”

Miranda sighed. “I wasn’t part of the operation that captured and… tortured you, Jack. You’ve seen the files. You know that each Cerberus cell operates independently of the others.”

 _Still trying to duck it._ “Yeah, whatever. Doesn’t matter. The big boss still let it go on and don’t tell me he didn’t know.”

“The experiments on children were horrendous,” Miranda said, taking a breath. “I hadn’t seen some of the files. Shepard told me about the facility on Pragia—all I knew about it was that it had been shut down years ago. To subject children to that—not even I can condone that.”

“Yeah, push the blame off on someone else, keep your pretty hands looking clean. Whatever. I don’t need this.”

“I was _trying_ to say—I’m sorry.”

“You think that fixes anything?” Jack glared at her. “That’s bullshit. It’s a little fucking _late_ for ‘sorry’, Cheerleader.”

“I know. It’s too late and an apology won’t change what Cerberus did to you, Jack, you’re right. I wish there was more I could do.”

Jack sneered at her and folded her arms around herself. “Bullshit. I don’t need an apology from you. You just want to make nice for the boss lady, anyway. You wanna do something for me? Get the hell _out_ of my face.”


	10. Prompt: I Spy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker asks Shepard a question about her ancestry. Inspired by the anniversary of Alan Shepard's spaceflight.

"Hey, Commander. I found this and I have to know--you related to this guy?"

Shepard leaned down and looked at what Joker had brought up on screen. An extranet page, detailing the life of the second human to enter space.

"Nope. Can't say I am. Maybe, generations back, we had a cousin in common or something. But 'Shepard' is a pretty common name back on Earth."

"Good thing, huh? Because I think the universe would explode from the sheer badassery if you had him as an ancestor. 'Cause, you know, I've met your mom."

 _Oh, god_. "I take it you behaved yourself, because she hasn't mentioned you."

"Of course I did!" Joker huffed, indignant. "She's pretty badass. I see where you get it."

Shepard shook her head. "A career flyboy like you's never heard tell of 'Shepard's Prayer'?" she asked. "I don't believe that."

"'Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck this up'? Of course I have."

"That's a misquote of that guy from an old movie. My father flew for the Alliance--I heard that all the time."

"Your dad was a pilot, huh?"

"Yep. Loved it as much as you do." She smiled faintly at the memory. "Mom says he said 'Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck this up' under his breath as they were getting married and offended the chaplain."

"What I wanna know--did it work?"


	11. Prompt: car shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep/Liara, in the hand-wavey post-trilogy future.

Shepard declared that she was sick of taxis and that they were going car shopping. "We've got the house," she said, "and then we'll have the car, and then the dog, and then the kids."

The "house" was the elegant and highly secure penthouse on Thessia. Their "dog" would more likely be a hamster or a fish. And kids? Shepard did keep talking about them.

Liara sighed. "We'll go and look at skycars," she relented. "But only if you agree that you're never allowed to drive it."

" _Liara_...." Shepard complained, with a sigh. "Have you been listening to Garrus bitch about my driving again? Because he exaggerates."

Liara cleared her throat and looked at her bondmate, shaking her head. "Shepard. _I_ was in the Mako when you _rolled it over_. And sent it over the _side of a cliff_."

"That damn thing had controls like a...."

"And I was in the skycar when we were chasing Vasir--"

"In a taxi! Into oncoming traffic. With the woman who was bent on killing you laying proximity charges. I got us there in one piece!"

"Your crew have also told me about you ramming the Hammerhead into numerous cliffs."

"Hey, I needed the entertainment."

"Do you _see_ why I don't want to let you drive?"


	12. Prompt: they left that out of the stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spacer f!Shep, gen.

When people tell stories about her resurrection and her defeat of Sovereign, the Collectors, the Reapers, they always leave the important bits out.

There was the part where she'd _always_ had a hell of a team on her six and that she hadn't done it alone. She hadn't single-handedly taken on an army of geth and she hadn't flown in to save Earth by herself. (She couldn't drive, much less fly).

No one ever talked about how her parents had been treated by the Alliance after her death and resurrection by Cerberus. Her mother had been offered a promotion as a political ploy ("a job offer, to motivate me into being quiet", was how Hannah Shepard had described it). Her father had been stripped of his command and shuffled to a desk job somewhere because of his support of her.

Both her parents had very nearly been interrogated (legally, they hadn't been detained but it had come pretty damn close) as to her whereabouts, her motivations, her ties to Cerberus, when she hadn't even had contact with them.

No one ever talked about the deaths she caused or the decisions she'd had to make. She's their hero, shiny and heroic, and she can do no wrong.


	13. Prompt: Palaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrus/f!Shep and a trip home to Palaven. (Inventive use of prompt is inventive).

His father is _not_ pleased, as usual, and Solana is busy running around after her children--Garrus swears there weren't so many of them the last time he was home--pausing only briefly to greet them and say, "you should see Mother."

“Sol,” he says, one hand going to the scarred side of his face, “are you _sure_ that’s a good idea?”

His sister shrugs. “It’s one of her good days, big brother. She doesn’t have too many of those.” Solana grasps his shoulder with carefully blunted talons. “Don’t listen to Father. He’s a stubborn old man, Garrus, and he won’t change now. It will do Mother good to see you.”

Before he can respond, his sister is ushering them towards his mother’s room and following behind them, one of her very young children in her arms.

Jane, who thankfully knows when to speak and when to hold her silence, protests. “I should…” she begins, turning to them outside the door. “Maybe I should go. Let you visit, Garrus.”

“Mother wants to meet you, Commander,” Solana says, nodding. “She was pleased to know you were coming.”

His mother’s frail voice carries from her room. “It is seldom a sick old woman gets to meet the hero of the galaxy, Commander Shepard. You have done me the honour of bringing my son home to me, so at least allow me to meet you.”

“You heard it for yourselves. Go on. There’s no arguing with her when she gets like that.”


	14. Prompt: purple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep/Garrus and inadvertent injuries.

"Hey, Garrus?" Shepard asked, obediently turned toward him so he could treat the bruises he'd left on her skin.

Humans were tough and incredibly _resilient_ creatures, but they were fragile compared to a turian. The purple marks on her body were proof of that.

"Hmm?"

"You remember that one time we let Tali drive the Mako?"

He couldn't help it--he laughed. "Oh, _spirits_ , yes. I didn't think anyone could handle a vehicle worse than you."

"Hey! Watch it, Vakarian!"

"Shepard, you _flipped it over_ \--more than once. You're not supposed to be able to do that. You also managed to get it wedged between two rocks."

"I've built a career on doing the impossible," she retorted.

"Mmm. You know, I don't think quarians have vehicles like your people do, so maybe it wasn't fair to make Tali drive one."

"Nah, they're ship people. Still. It _was_ funny. Even she thinks so."

Garrus leaned his head against the top of hers and asked, "is there a reason you brought that up? Or are you feeling nostalgic this morning?"

She chuckled a little. "I was just going to say that I've had worse than this from bad driving in the Mako. It's nothing."


	15. Prompt: Watch baby fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!Shep as a mom to hers and Liara's kid.

Asari children somehow aren't as loud as human ones, but are equally expressive. Little asari girls take the little bumps and bruises and falls that come when they're learning to walk without wailing or screaming as Shepard would've expected. (Some of those falls looked like they _hurt_ ).

When Jane mentions this, Liara just shakes her head and says, "they have ways to get our attention other than screaming. Believe me."

Her own mother has reassured her a thousand times that children are resilient ( _like little bits of rubber_ , Hannah Shepard had said, _they bounce right back. They heal faster than even a gene-modded adult could_ ) and that she needs to stop worrying about it. ( _Kids fall_ , Hannah had said, during the same vid-call, _and they get back up_ ).

That still doesn't stop her from wincing when little Talirah stumbles or rushing to her daughter when she's fallen hard onto the floor.


	16. Prompt: what the hell, hero?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f!shep/Thane.

Garrus turned as the doors to the Battery slid open, revealing a thoroughly dishevelled Shepard.

Her jumpsuit was unfastened to her waist, her hair was out of its usual knot at the back of her head, and her boots were half-undone. Her eyes were huge, with the pupils dilated, and her face was flushed pink.

“Shepard?” _Thankfully_ , she was wearing an undershirt. “What’s up?”

“Garrus?” she asked, squinting at him as she swayed in the doorway. “What’re you doin’ here?” Her words were slurred and her eyes didn’t seem to focus properly.

 _Oh_ , spirits, he thought. _She’s been drinking._ But no, that didn’t make any sense. Shepard wouldn’t get that drunk and wander around the ship looking like she did. “What are you doing down here, Shepard?” he asked, slowly. “Have you been drinking?”

She blinked slowly and tipped her head to one side. “Garrus?” she asked, slurring his name. “Why’re you _pink_?”

“Pink? What?” He brought up his omni-tool, meaning to call Mordin, Doctor Chakwas, _someone_ , and find out what the hell was wrong with Shepard. If it was some sort of crazy hallucinogenic allergic reaction or if she was just drunk off her ass—whatever it was, he wasn’t equipped to deal with it. “What happened to you?”

“Garrus, you’re pink,” she repeated and giggled. “Pink turian!”

 _Giggled_. Shepard did _not_ giggle. Garrus was half-tempted to stick Miranda with her, but that would just be cruel. “Shepard, maybe you should sit down.”

The doors slid open a second time to admit Thane. The drell looked concerned, but quickly composed himself. “Officer Vakarian,” he said, conversationally. “I apologize.”

“Thane!” Shepard grinned widely at her lover. “Garrus’s pink!”

“Indeed, _siha_.” Thane patted her shoulder and sighed. “In some humans, lengthy contact with members of my species causes hallucinogenic symptoms. She slipped away from me and chose to wander.”

Garrus shook his head, trying to keep his expression neutral and probably failing. “How long have you been chasing her around the ship?”

Thane tightened his arm around Shepard as if to prevent her wandering further. “I would rather not speak of it. And I imagine she would prefer you do the same.”

He nodded, turning back to his terminal. “I really don’t want it going around that I’m pink, you know? Do you need me to get Mordin?”

“No. The effects will fade, given time.”

Garrus chuckled, unable to restrain himself. “It did make my evening, I have to say. Just maybe… keep her in quarters so she doesn’t embarrass herself.”

“A very valid piece of advice. However, it is highly unlikely that she will remember.”

“Thane…?” Shepard interrupted, squinting at the drell.

“Yes?”

“….Why’re you floating? Stay still!”

The drell shook his head. “Come along, _siha_. You need to lie down.”

“No. No, I don’t.”

“Yes, I think you do,” he said, drawing her out of the Battery.

So Shepard was high? After ‘contact’ with her boyfriend? Spirits. No one would _ever_ believe that.


	17. Prompt: the worst day since yesterday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker, post-a-bad-ending ME2.

"Jeff, there is an incoming transmission with the signature of the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet." Was it just him or did the AI sound worried?

"How the--?" He frowned at EDI and keyed up the transmission. "This is _Normandy_ , Fifth Fleet."

"Flight Lieutenant Moreau, I presume. Admiral Hackett."

Hearing his old Alliance rank made him shake his head. He'd left that behind when they'd grounded him. "Admiral."

"Lieutenant, the reports of your trip through the Omega 4 relay have not been positive."

 _No shit_ , he thought, but didn't actually say it. "No, sir."

"We need confirmation--was Commander Shepard killed in action?"

"Yes." _Again. Damn it, Shepard_.

"And the status of your vessel?"

"I don't think Cerberus wants it--or me--anymore, sir."

"Indeed. Set a course for Arcturus Station, Lieutenant."

He started to alter his course instinctively--Hackett was an admiral because he was good at giving orders--before he stopped to consider. He didn't owe these people a damn thing--and he didn't know what they wanted.

"Only if you're not going to arrest me on sight, sir. Yesterday sucked bad enough without that."

Hackett made a sound that might have been a laugh. "No, Lieutenant. We're past that. We would like to know what we're up against and Shepard gathered some of the best intel we have."

 _Damn, Shepard. You should be here. They're actually listening_. "Roger that, sir. Now that I know you're not going to make today any worse, altering course."


	18. Prompt: home they bring her hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Joker-post-bad-ending-of-ME2.

There's no one waiting to bury Shepard--she has no one. This time around, she doesn't get the fuss of an official funeral. There's no one to make speeches, no reporters, no Alliance brass to strut around pretending she wasn't a pain in their ass.

He's alone in the cockpit, alone on an empty, too-quiet ship, until Liara joins him. The asari cries over Shepard's coffin a second time, and he doesn't know what the hell to do with _that_.

When he asks, Liara has a suggestion, and he sets the course.

Once they land, surprised locals point them in the right direction, and they finally find the spot. The battered gravemarkers have seen better days and it's obvious no one's been here in years. _Hell, it's not as if she had time_.

They bury their hero with her mother and father and younger brother on Mindoir, with the rest of the colonists who died during the batarian raid of 2170.

"Brought you home, Commander," he says, touching the new marker there. "Maybe this time you'll get to stay, huh?"


	19. Prompt: don't forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Liara, post ME2/Arrival. ARRIVAL SPOILERS AND ME3 SPECULATION AHOY.

  
“Liara.” Kaidan jogs after the asari one afternoon once the proceedings have ended and Shepard’s been returned to her holding cell.

Shepard’s lover doesn’t slow her pace, walking along the corridor. She’s not the bookish and awkward Liara _he_ remembers, not anywhere near it. “Staff Commander Alenko,” she replies. “You wanted something?”

“This isn’t my fault, Liara,” he says tightly. “I didn’t have a choice; if I hadn’t testified, it would have ended my career. They would have found a way.”

Liara just _looks_ at him, unmoved. “Indeed. Perhaps you should consider what you just said.”

“It’s nothing personal….”

“Do you remember how many times Shepard was forced to make a decision? Decisions that _no one_ should have had to make?” She asks, finally stopping to look at him. Her blue eyes are cold, her mouth drawn tight.

“Of course I do. I was _there_ , Liara, just like you were.”

She folds her arms across her chest and says, “Shepard counted you as her _friend_. Were the roles reversed, she would have believed in you. I believe what she says—that she attempted to make contact with the colonies, but that communications were unavailable.”

“I _want_ to believe her. I wish I could.”

Liara shakes her head and continues. “It’s _Shepard_. Do you honestly believe that the woman who held onto guilt over one life lost would casually kill three hundred thousand beings? Regardless of their race.”

 _God. She’s right. Shepard never killed if she didn’t have to—and I don’t think she ever let go of leaving Ash behind with the salarians._ “No. No, I don’t. I wasn’t there. I can’t give evidence as to what she did or didn’t do, but I do have to testify. I have to.”

“You know that no matter how bad it looked, she would have put her career on the line for you.”

“Shepard’s a better person than I’ll ever be. Obviously. But we all can’t be like her. Just…. Would you tell her I’m sorry? It isn’t personal, I swear.”

Liara gives him a withering look, one he wouldn’t have thought her capable of. "If you want to speak to Shepard, go speak to her yourself. You _are_ capable of that much, aren’t you?”

 _Man up_ , is essentially what she’s saying. “I—you’re right. I guess I owe her that much. I was kind of an ass to her, the last time we talked.”

Liara nods crisply. “I had heard. If you want _any_ chance of having her still count you as a friend, go to her. I have things to do, so if you’ll excuse me?”

“Of course, Liara. It was nice to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the feeling was mutual. A word of advice, Staff Commander—stay away from Garrus. He and Jane have become quite close friends and he’s furious.”

 _Angry turian. Angry_ Garrus. _Yeah, not high on my list of people to see._ “I’ll keep that in mind.”

"See to it you do."


	20. Prompt: This is the price you pay for loss of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colonist/Ruthless!FemShep, after Torfan.

When she calls the roll, only twelve marines out of her unit of fifty respond. The rest are dead, they tell her. Some of them look at her with blame in their eyes. The bodies littering the battlefield are not just batarian and it's her fault.

During the shuttle ride back to Alliance space, her remaining men are silent. She can't give a rallying speech or justify her decision to them. Thirty-eight men are dead and she doesn't know _why_. She has no good reason for making that decision. It doesn't make any _sense_.

The _why_ only occurs to her when she's back on the station, long after debriefing, and she's just hit the shower.

 _Mindoir_. Batarians destroyed her home, killed her family--she can still see her father, with half his head missing from a shotgun blast--destroyed it all.

She'd lost control of the situation, herself, all of it. Snapped and lost all thought for her men and protecting them. A good commander was supposed to look after her people. She'd just wanted revenge and nothing else.

 _God. What the fuck have you done, Shepard? Killing the batarians. Was that worth it? Is that what they would have wanted?_

When she finally drags herself out of the shower, the marines on the station stare at her. She got thirty-eight of their comrades, their friends, killed. She deserves more than just their stares.


	21. Prompt: Feron and Liara at the Base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt is kind of self-explanatory; just a slice of life for Feron and Liara out in the middle of nowhere. F!Shep/Liara.

“Liara?” Feron heard a woman’s voice coming from Liara’s office, and stepped through the open door. “Hey, Liara? You there?”

His boss was sound asleep, hunched over the desk. Her arms were folded underneath her head, her cheek rested on a datapad, and her terminal blinked with an open comm link.

“ _Liara…_ ” the feminine voice from the terminal took on a teasing tone and he recognized the speaker.

Feron stepped around behind her desk and keyed up the link. “Commander Shepard,” he said.

“Feron?” The Commander sounded surprised. “Hi. I didn’t call you.”

“No, you didn’t. Liara’s sound asleep on her desk.”

“Typical.” Shepard almost sounded amused. “Don’t wake her—I didn’t want anything. I don’t think she gets nearly enough sleep.”

“No, not really,” he replied, looking down at Liara. “I try.”

The Commander laughed. “You and my crew would have a lot to talk about. Look after her for me, Feron.”

“Will do, Commander. Goodnight.” He keyed the link closed and Liara sat up, running a hand over her face.

"Shepard worries _entirely_ too much," she said, pushing her chair back. "And you encourage her."

Feron snorted. "You were awake."

"Mmm. Really, Feron. She's out there fighting for her life--she doesn't need to worry about me on top of it all. I'm fine."

He laid one hand on Liara's shoulder and said, "I think you're part of what keeps her going, boss."


	22. Prompt: white knight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Doctor Chakwas, gen.

“Hello, Jack. I’m Doctor Chakwas.”

The first response she got from the young woman was a surly glower. “I don’t like fucking doctors. I’m here because Shepard marched me in here, not because I wanna be your friend.”

Chakwas shrugged and picked up the datapad from her desk. “I’ve read your files, Jack.”

Jack just glared at her and folded her arms protectively around herself.

“Those researchers that abused you so terribly do not deserve the title of ‘doctor’,” she remarked. “It is appalling.”

Jack’s eyes flickered with surprise before she gathered herself. “Yeah,” she said, and kicked the cot with one booted foot, “whatever. They didn’t seem to think so.”

“Yes. I don’t know what Commander Shepard told you, but I work for her, not for Cerberus. My patients’ medical files are not there for Cerberus to peruse. I respect my patients and I don’t do them harm.”

Jack shrugged and almost seemed to shrink, a bit of the hard edge beginning to fade.

 _My god. She’s just a scared little girl. How old is she, really?_ “All right. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Once Jack had stomped out of the medbay, Shepard walked in. “You managed to run the standard battery without her throwing things at you?” the Commander asked. “I’m impressed, Doc.”

“So am I, truthfully. Perhaps I’m reading too much into her but, Shepard—we can’t help her if she’s hiding down in the cargo hold.”

“I’m trying. I was like her, once.” Shepard just shrugged. “She doesn’t throw things at me, so that’s a start.”


	23. Prompt: Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spacer fem!Shep and her parents, re: haircuts.

When she stepped off the shuttle, her father nearly doubled over with laughter. "That's my girl," he praised.

"Jane Shepard," her mother said, "what the everloving hell have you _done_ to yourself?"

"Nice to see you too, Mom," she replied, dropping her bags on the landing pad.

Hannah Shepard gave her a _look_. Her mother was a master of the _look_ , commissioned officer and all. "Very funny. Answer my question."

Jane ran one hand over her head and shrugged. "The guys were doing it. I thought 'why not'?"

"You _had_ a perfectly acceptable regulation hairstyle when you left."

"After eight weeks of having my ass handed to me, it got in the way. It made sense, Mom."

Hannah frowned. "You look like a cultist or a punk or I don't _know_ what."

Her father had recovered and laid a hand on her mother's shoulder. "It's just hair, Han. It grows back."

Jane agreed, "it'll grow back out before I shuttle back. Promise." _And at least you haven't seen the tattoo yet_.


	24. Prompt: Help, I'm alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sole survivor Shep. Warning, language.

Her lungs burned and her legs throbbed, but this was no five mile run in boot camp. If she stopped running, she was dead.

Her legs gave as she hit the colony's landing pad and she went sprawling face-first. Her rifle fell from her hand and her helmet cracked hard on the concrete.

 _No._. Her arms trembled and gave out as she tried to push herself up. _NO._

"Jesus _fuck_." Someone grabbed her and hauled her bodily upright, holding her by her elbows.

She blinked as her vision swam, her ears still ringing. She blinked again and recognized the human holding her up.

The Alliance navigator popped the seals on her helmet and pulled it off, dropping it with a clatter. "Kid," he snapped. "Marine! What the _fuck_ happened down here? Where are the rest?"

She couldn't speak. She couldn't even put together words. She just shook her head, her breath coming in huge, hitching gasps.

"Jesus H. fuckin' Christ," the navigator muttered. "All right, kid. Get in."

She heard him making a radio call as the shuttle lifted off, but couldn't understand what he was saying. Her ears were ringing again and her vision began to fade to shades of grey.

 _I'm alive_.


	25. Prompt: Feron and Liara at the Base, pt. 2.

She worries about Feron, knows that _she_ can't help him. With just each other for company (and that drone), this ship might drive a healthy person mad.

But she can't tell him she worries about him; it would offend him or drive him further away from her. So she throws herself into her work instead.

When he slips into memories, as his species is prone to do, it breaks her heart. Dealing in information has made her more aware of privacy, of how sacred it actually is. He's recalling his two years of captivity, things that he may or may not want to tell her, and he has no control over it.

When he snaps back out of the most recent memory, she goes to him and pulls him into her arms, acting before she can think about it.

Feron stiffens, and then relaxes, letting her hold him. And when they break apart, he looks down and away from her. "I'm sorry, Liara."

"No." _Oh, Goddess, don't start crying_. She swipes at her eyes. "I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't get to you sooner."

"You tried." The drell's large eyes are unreadable. "I know you did." And then he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "It's bad enough that I have to live with this. I don't want to see you punish yourself."


	26. Prompt: Marine

When they walk past one of the advertisements on the Citadel, the ad springs up. " _Courage. Honor. Duty..._ " says the recorded voice.

Shepard stops short, watching it, and then nearly keels over laughing.

Garrus blinks and trades a look with Mordin. The salarian just shakes his head.

"Come on, Shepard," he says, "it's just one of those stupid Alliance recruitment ads. You've seen them before."

"Yeah," she replies. "But this?" She gestures and he actually looks at the thing.

From somewhere, the Alliance has acquired an image of her in combat gear, offering a salute, and is using it in their recruitment ads. It's Shepard, not an actor trying to pass as her like in 'Citadel.'

"... That's clever, actually," he admits. "You humans consistently have a problem with recruiting, and the chance to be a hero like you? That would draw them in."

Shepard just rolls her eyes. "As big of a pain in the ass as I was to them--trust me, I was--and they do this when I'm dead? Doesn't make me proud to be a marine."


	27. Prompt: TMI

“Shepard? I, uh…. You can kick me if I’m insulting you somehow, but, uh, you smell… different.”

Jane blinked and then shook her head. “You can smell _that_? Really?”

Garrus shrugged. “What can I say? Better sense of smell. There’s been something… off about you to me all day. Am I just going crazy?”

“Nope. You’re not going crazy, Garrus.”

She was smiling a little. That was a good sign. “Good. Because I never did like the thought.”

“Nah, me neither. You’ve just got better senses than a human male.” Jane retrieved her glass and straightened up a little. “It’s nothing. I’m just on my period.”

His translator gave him numerous possible meanings for that word. “You somehow are ‘on’ a piece of punctuation used in human written script? I… I don’t get it, Shepard.”

She nudged him with her foot. “Translators are _always_ fun, aren’t they? No. I’m not on a piece of punctuation, Garrus. It’s an extremely common human slang term—the more clinical explanation is that I’m menstruating.”

 _That_ the translator made sense out of. Monthly part of the human female’s reproductive cycle, included changes in hormone levels and… bleeding? “You’re bleeding?” he asked. “Right now?”

“Yep.”

She seemed entirely too comfortable with this concept. “This is normal, to you?”

“Yeah. Happens to every human woman when she reaches maturity.”

“I’ve never seen anyone be so _calm_ about bleeding before,” he remarked.

Jane just shrugged and sipped her wine. “Human women have had the same cycle for millennia. They tried to remove it with gene mods and hormones, years back, but it negatively impacted fertility.”

He tried again. “You’re bleeding.”

“Yep.” She was smiling as if she found him endearing somehow.

Hell, _let_ her make fun of him. He probably deserved it. “The lining of one of your internal organs _sheds itself_ and you go about your business as if nothing’s happening? What the hell?”

She laughed and sat up, resting her head against his shoulder. “Garrus. Stop worrying. It’s not as dramatic as the clinical description the translator gave you sounds, I _promise_. Uncomfortable, sure, but it’s not going to kill me.”

He had to admit defeat there. “If you say so.”


	28. Prompt: what will be (damn it, Conrad!)

Shepard groaned and stumbled blindly to her terminal, seeing the comm link demanding her attention. It felt as if she’d only just gone to bed… and people were calling her. She’d just saved the universe. Didn’t she deserve some rest?

She keyed open the link, raking her fingers through her hair.

“I was hoping I’d get you while we were near a comm link!” Her mother. Okay, she could deal with that.

The terminal beeped, drawing her attention to another call, then another, and another, and… _Damn it._

“Hey, Skipper—” Ashley, cut off by another transmission.

“Jane—” That was her father.

“Shepard—” Even Anderson got interrupted by someone else calling her.

“Commander Shepard? Emily Wong…”

“Commander….”

“Shepard, it’s Liara…”

 _What the hell is this? Inter-Galactic Call Shepard Day?_ She sighed and wished desperately for a cup of coffee—or a pot of it—as she watched the signatures of her incoming calls go by on the display. The Alliance Fifth Fleet, the Citadel Council, Alliance vessels _Manila_ , _Orizaba_ , and _Seoul_ , one from Citadel public access, one from Earth ( _Earth? Really?_ ), one from the Quarian Migrant Fleet, one on Liara’s encrypted-to-hell-and-back channel….

She groaned and leaned her head on her desk, just in time to see the terminal announce that she’d received a message from Alliance High Command, and another from the Council, and a third from… oh, never mind. There was no way she could deal with this all at once, even if she tried.

The door to her quarters slid open. “ _Siha_?” Thane was standing there, two mugs in his hands, looking at her with concern. “I had not expected you to wake.”

“Apparently, it’s Inter-Galactic Call Shepard Day and no one told me. My adoring public decided to call me, all at once. For the love of god, _please_ tell me that’s coffee.”

The drell smiled a little and passed her a mug. “Indeed.”

She sipped her coffee, wincing as she scalded her tongue. “I know I can’t hide from them forever, but did they all have to call at the same time?”

The terminal bleeped again. “Commander Shepard? Uh, it’s me, Conrad.”

“Damn it, Conrad! How the hell did _you_ get this channel?”

Thane reached over and powered off her terminal, cutting off the communications, just as EDI flared to life behind her.

“Shepard, I can hold your calls unless they are absolutely mission-critical,” the AI said.

She rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Yeah. Thanks, EDI. I owe you one.”

“Very well, Shepard.”

Thane beckoned to her. “You have orders to rest, _siha’fa_. This is not resting. Your messages will still be there.”

“I was trying to.” She got up, walking down to the sofa in her quarters. “But look. I’m going to sit my ass down and drink my coffee in peace. Compromise?”


	29. Prompt: Don't worry, I'm an expert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara is truly tired of Shepard's terrible driving. This is the first time Thane's been in a vehicle with her driving.

"Shepard... would you rather I drive?" The asari sounded tentative, which caught Thane's attention.

"No, I've got it, Liara." Shepard strapped herself into the seat of the skycar, nodding.

"If you're sure--oof!" Liara went forward abruptly as the car lifted off and Thane's head nearly connected with the driver's seat.

The car veered sharply left, engines nearly drowning out Shepard's shout of "hang on!" and Thane decided he had to ask.

"Shepard, are you certain you know how to operate a vehicle?"

The grin she gave him was _not_ reassuring in the slightest. "Don't worry. My dad was a fighter pilot."

Liara sighed. "Oh, Goddess." Then she added, "obviously, the skills did not pass through the generations."

"Are you saying there's something the matter with my driving, T'Soni?"

"No--whoa!" The car veered wildly to the right, almost into oncoming traffic. "Yes! There is something very much the matter with your driving, Shepard! Namely that you don't know how!"

"Hey, I'm licensed back home."

Liara traded a look with him in the mirror and said, as Shepard gunned the engine, "you grew up on Alliance space stations, Shepard."

" _Exactly_. Hold on!"


	30. Prompt: payback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> F!Shep confronts Kaidan post-ME2.

The last thing she said to him had been "get the hell out of here!"

When he saw her again, after she'd wiped out the Collectors and he was between postings, he wasn't sure what to expect. The last time he saw her, she'd been _furious_ with him.

One thing that he hadn't expected was for her to haul off and punch him, hard enough to stagger him.

"What the hell was that for?" he demanded, rubbing his jaw.

"For not fucking listening to me on Horizon," she said, her grey eyes piercing through him.


	31. Prompt: payback (round 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasumi's pranks have gone too far for Shepard. Language warning ahoy.

"...Motherfucking--!"

Garrus heard the steady stream of profanity coming from Shepard's quarters and cautiously leaned around the door. "Shepard?"

"Fuckin' son of a _bitch_! EDI!"

"Yes, Shepard?" The AI sounded as calm as ever.

"Find out _how_ in the fucking hell she's getting in here. And tell her I'll get her back for this."

"I presume you mean Miss Goto, Shepard?"

"Yes. Who the hell else?"

 _Oh, spirits. Kasumi, what did you do?_. "Shepard?" he called, raising his voice. Then he saw it; the little yellow slip of paper on Shepard's desk, written on in purple human script.

"For fuck's sake..." Shepard stormed out of her little bathroom, still in a temper, wrapped in a towel. "Our resident thief decided to steal my clothes--except for _that_ fucking get-up." She gestured, disgusted, to the dress she'd worn when she'd gone out with the thief on a mission, laid neatly out on her bed. "And I have a briefing in ten minutes. I'm _not_ wearing that thing."

Garrus tried not to let his amusement show, but by her scowl he thought he'd failed. "How do you plan to get her back?" he asked. "I mean, really, Shepard. She's one of the best."

"She's not the only one who knows how to be a sneaky fucking bitch," the Commander seethed, "trust me, Garrus. She's not. This is _war_."


	32. Prompt: first contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thane sees Shepard for the first time--from above. While he's crawling through a ventilation duct, curious about who this other person confusing Nassana Dantius's mercs is.

From the confused radio chatter of Nassana's mercenaries, Thane gathers two pieces of information: they do not know his position and there is someone else shooting their way through the towers. (Someone they are apparently mistaking for him).

At a juncture in the ventilation system, he stops and lowers his rifle, peering down through a gap.

Human. Female. No mercenary uniform. She leads a squad--a turian and a salarian--and carries an impressive array of weapons. She moves like a warrior, with far more confidence than the mercenaries he's been taking out.

He doesn't have time to ponder her presence, but he does note that she doesn't appear to be an assassin. It seems unlikely Nassana's sisters hired her.

She gets to Nassana first, bludgeoning her way through. _Efficient_. He uses this to his advantage, dropping down silently while the asari and her guards are distracted.

When he looks at her properly, he recognizes the human. Shepard--Commander Shepard. That explains why she was able to take out Nassana's defences so efficiently with just a team of two. It still doesn't explain why she's here.


	33. Prompt: Space weddings, pt. 1

They’d been looking through the racks of gowns for two hours and Hannah was beginning to feel bad for the cheerful turian sales clerk given the task of finding her stubborn daughter a dress.

There were very traditional and old-Earth white gowns, along with dresses of almost every colour available. And still they hadn’t found one dress that Jane even wanted to try on.

“Mom?”

Hannah turned, trading a wry look with the somehow still-cheerful clerk. “Have you found something?”

“No. Forget it. I’m wearing my blues.”

“But—” Hannah sighed. “You’re getting _married_.”

Jane just shook her head. “You think I didn’t know that? He didn’t fall in love with a walking ball of tulle and lace and whatever the rest of this is, Mom. Besides, what if I have to move in a hurry?”

“Jane,” Hannah replied, holding onto her stubborn girl’s shoulders. “You are _not_ going to be double-timing it anywhere on your wedding day. I promise.”

“But—”

“You can’t always be practical,” the clerk put in, her mandibles twitching. “For one day, just… don’t be practical. Turn his head right around, wearing a dress. Wear one for your mom, if it’s not for him.”

Jane frowned, sensing she was beaten. “Compromise?” she asked.

“Maybe.”

“Uniform skirt for the ceremony.”

“Not good enough—you’re the only kid I have, stubborn mule that you are. Uniform skirt for the ceremony, dress for the reception.”

Jane blinked at her. “Reception? _What_ reception?”

Hannah just smiled and let go of her daughter’s shoulders. “You didn’t think you could just get married and run off, did you? Because that’s not gonna fly, darling. If you wanted that, you should’ve eloped.”

“Like you and Dad did, you mean.”

“We did not elope.”

“Getting married on a docking bay just before you shipped out? How’s that not eloping?”

“That’s called ‘being clever’, Janie, not eloping. I know there’s one of these dresses you liked.”

“Dresses are a pain in the ass to move in,” Jane complained, obediently following behind.

“Especially if you haven’t worn one since you were twelve.” Hannah shook her head, as the clerk began dredging through the racks once more. “Listen. If you _really_ think someone’s going to attack at your wedding, haven’t you ever heard tell of strapping a knife or a pistol to your thigh?”

“ _Mother!_ ” Jane looked away as the sales clerk chuckled.

“What? It’s the same as carrying a knife in your boot, marine. Now suck it up, stop whining, and get your ass moving. We are going to find you a dress.”


	34. Prompt: Space wedding, pt. 2

ane stepped out of the dressing room, wearing the long, loose tunic and wide trousers that it seemed every turian female wore. Hannah noted that her daughter’s outfit lacked the large collar—a human’s body structure just wouldn’t support it—and the medals pinned on Jane’s chest.

“Well?” Her only daughter asked, obediently turning around. There was a knife tucked in her left boot, her hair was down around her shoulders, and her clothes were the same shade of blue as Hannah’s future son-in-law’s facial markings.

The startling thing about it all was the facepaint adorning Jane’s features. While not permanent like Garrus’s tattoos, it was striking. Her daughter’s face was painted in white, with blue stripes to match Garrus’s own.

“It’s different,” Hannah conceded, nodding. “But if this is their tradition, I can’t complain. I get to watch you get married—that’s more than I ever hoped for.”

“ _Mom._ ”

“What? You were hopeless. Saving the galaxy doesn’t leave time for boyfriends. I get it.”

“You’re all right with this?” Jane asked for the hundredth time. “Really?”

Hannah just shrugged. “I never thought of you bringing home a turian, but it doesn’t bother me that he’s an alien if that’s what you mean. You love who you love, darling. As for Garrus himself? I like him. He’ll keep you sharp.”


	35. prompt: space wedding, pt. 3

Seeing her daughter attired in a bond ceremony gown made from fine asari silk, her hair left loose to hang down her back was a surprise. The gown looked like it was heavy, and it trailed on the floor as Jane walked.

“You look great,” Hannah praised, noting the elaborate markings painted on her daughter’s face, the jewellery Jane wore. “And it’s your day, after all. It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“Of course it does,” Jane muttered. “I wasn’t sure about this,” she admitted, turning about slowly to show the revealing back of her gown, “but Liara seemed to love it. The ceremony, it’s very… old, very intimate. It’s really beautiful.”

Hannah nodded and brushed one hand over Jane’s hair, smiling a little. “I’m sure it is. Don’t trip going up the aisle, Janie.”

Jane just rolled her eyes. “I did practice wearing this thing, you know. Besides, Liara would just find it funny.”

“I’m sure she would. Now, get a move on, marine. She’s waiting for you.”


	36. Prompt: we do what we must

Two weeks after Torfan, when she's cooling her heels and waiting for a psych eval, Shepard submits her resignation.

She doesn't deserve to wear the uniform, not after that. She doesn't deserve to call herself an Alliance marine.

"Shepard. Get the hell in here!"

Her CO. And he doesn't sound happy.

"Sir?" She stands at attention and offers a salute once she enters his office.

"What in hell is _this_?" he demands, thrusting a datapad across his desk at her. "This had better be a god damned joke."

"No joke, sir." She stares squarely at his forehead instead of making eye contact. Easier that way.

"Explain yourself. Now."

"I don't deserve to wear the uniform, sir. Three-quarters of my unit is dead--not because of the batarians, because of me. No way I'll get a career after this."

He narrows his eyes at her. "So you're going to quit, is that it? Never pegged you for a damn coward, Shepard."

She takes a breath to avoid lashing out at him. "I'm not, sir."

"This says you are. If you weren't, you'd get your damned ass back out there. But you're going to run away. Cowards turn tail and run, Shepard. Marines don't. But maybe you're right. Maybe you don't deserve the uniform." He sits forward, staring her down, daring her to cave, to lose her temper.

"Sir. With all due respect, I don't--I got thirty-eight men killed on the ground. That's not something a competent commander does. I--"

"Shut the fuck _up_ , Shepard."

"Shutting up now, sir."

"I don't know what the hell went wrong on the ground. So you made a mistake, maybe you lost your head, but you got the job done. You buck up and _deal with it_ , marine. You do what you have to do. You don't quit."

"Yes, sir."

"The Alliance needs soldiers like you. Yeah, this incident might not get your promoted, but they aren't going to discharge you over it. They keep more incompetent idiots than _you_ around. I'll pretend I never saw this," he said, holding up the datapad containing her resignation, "and you get your ass back out there."


	37. Prompt: Everyone falls down

When he entered her quarters, Shepard glanced at him from where she sat on the floor, her elbows resting on her knees. Her discarded armor lay scattered about the room in pieces. She looked unusually dishevelled, her hair loose and falling around her shoulders and wearing nothing but a dark shirt and shorts.

"Hey," she said wearily. "What got you up here?"

“I know that you went groundside to explore the wreckage of the first _Normandy_ , _siha'fa_ ,” he said, making his way over to her.

She rubbed her hands over her face. “I didn’t think it’d be so bad,” she said, apparently to no one. “It’s been two years.”

“You did not have time to mourn properly. It is still fresh for you.”

When she spoke, she said, “Twenty people went down with the _Normandy_ , Thane. You know what’s left of those twenty people? Dog tags. That’s it. When I was down there, looking around—it was as if I could see it. The ship was in pieces, but I could still _see_ my XO on the bridge or Joker in the cockpit or the crew in the mess almost as if nothing had changed, as if I could still… save it somehow.”

Her species did not usually possess the eidetic memory of his, so flashbacks that vivid were rare for them. Unsettling, probably.

“ _Siha_ , I—I am sorry.” He reached down to grasp her shoulder, to steady her. “You did not have to make that trip alone."

She rolled her eyes. “And what? Have a whole ground team watch me lose it? Yeah, that sounds perfect. Start the rumour that the cybernetics have made me unstable again. No—it was something I needed to do. She was my ship and they were _my_ crew. I owed them at least that.”

Her sense of honour, that sense of duty, was what had led to her death according to the pilot. Thane merely said, "“I would have come with you, had you asked. And I do know that you are not unstable.”

Her lips quirked in a small, wry smile. “You sure ‘bout that?”

He nodded seriously, even though he’d caught her self-depreciating humour. “Quite sure, _siha._ The crew you have assembled would not follow just anyone.”

“If you say so, Thane.” She raked her hand through her loose hair and got up from the floor. "If you say so."


	38. Prompt: green eggs and ham

  
" _'I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am.'_ "

Liara paused. Jane's voice usually gave orders, but now it seemed she was saying nonsense. She stepped over the threshold into their living area and smiled at the sight in front of her.

Jane had their young daughter in her lap, a battered old book (an actual _book_ \--that had to be an antique) in one hand.

"Jane?" she asked, when her bondmate paused for breath. "Why are you reading complete nonsense to the baby?"

Jane just rolled her eyes. "It is _not_ nonsense, Liara. A scholar like you's never heard tell of Dr. Seuss?"

"I can't say I have."

"All right, come here. We'll start again--Hannah loves it, anyway."


	39. Prompt: Male!Shep meets Fem!Shep

" _Who the hell are_ you?" The rifle pointed at her didn't waver, as the man spoke.

She sighed. "Lieutenant Commander Shepard, SSV _Normandy_." He looked... generic. Generic military man from the vids; shaved hair, strong jaw, gun in one hand. She'd never actually met a real soldier who looked like that; this guy did.

That got a reaction from him. "The hell you are."

She snorted, tempted to knock the rifle straight out of his hand. "I am. What the hell's your problem, buddy? You one of those jerks that think women can't hold the front line? 'Cause I've got news for you."

"That's me," he said, staring at her. "Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy. First time I've ever had a woman try to impersonate me, lady."

She reached for her pistol. "First time I've ever had a man impersonate _me_. Tags. If you're an Alliance marine, you've got them."

He fished his tags out from under his fatigues, and she did the same. He lowered his rifle, letting her approach to examine them.

 _SHEPARD, J._ , his read--and she knew her own read the same.

"Those aren't fakes," he mused, letting go of her tags after scrutinizing them closely.

"Yeah, neither are yours, pal."

He blinked. "Who the hell names a woman 'John', though?"

"It's not 'John'. It's 'Jane', dumbass."

"Right. Jane. Sorry. So how in the fuck are we the commander of the same ship?"


	40. Prompt: someone has a crush on Joker--and it isn't Shepard

Someone was walking up the deck behind him, and it didn't sound like Shepard. Shepard wore combat boots and greeted the flight crew as she passed.

" _Joker!_ " cried a familiar voice through a respirator as someone slammed into the back of his chair. Two thin arms wrapped around him and he grinned, recognizing the three-fingered hands.

"Tali!" he replied. "Nice to see you, too. Hey, lemme turn around."

She backed off, releasing him, and he swivelled his chair around. "That is _you_ , right? Hard to tell with the helmet and the suit, y'know."

The quarian laughed. "Nobody else would follow Shepard."

"Yeah, guess you're right. How've you been?"

She shrugged, eyes glowing from behind her helmet. "Shepard didn't tell me you were here," she said. "I'm surprised, but I guess that... makes it better."

"Hey, Garrus is here too and Doctor Chakwas--and that just makes it awesome, right?"

"Kind of like the old days."

"Yep. I mean, it's different, but it's nice to see friendly faces."

"Yeah, uh... yeah."


	41. Prompt: playing with fire

Aria’s voice followed her as she stepped down from the platform where Omega’s ‘queen’ reigned. “You should get yourself a nice young man to keep you warm….”

Shepard frowned, trying to decide if the asari was mocking her or trying to give her legitimate advice, and then decided it didn’t matter.

Garrus just shook his head and fell into step with her, but Zaeed gave a bark of a laugh as he followed.

Shepard glanced at the old merc, popping the seals on her helmet with one hand and drawing it off. “Something you’d like to share with the class, Massani?”

He didn’t answer until they got to the outer edge of the dance floor. “Shepard, you’d break any ‘nice young man’ to bits. Anyone who isn’t fuckin’ stupid should know that.”

“Yeah,” Garrus agreed. “Be kind of like playing with fire.”

“Nice to know my reputation precedes me. All right, come on. Let’s get the hell off this shithole before Aria sets me up with one of her thugs or something.”


	42. Prompt: running scared

Chakwas had ordered her out of Medical (and she knew better than to argue), Miranda had chased her off the bridge, and Tali and Gabby had run her out of Engineering mostly by fussing and crying and thanking her.

 _Getting ordered around on my own ship_ , she thought, as the doors to her quarters closed behind her. There was nothing else for it; she’d been chased away from work and basically told to go lie down, to go the hell to bed.

What she _needed_ was work, something to throw herself into so she'd stop thinking, but her crew didn't seem to want to give her that. She supposed she could at least try to catch some time in the rack. It wouldn’t hurt.

An hour later, she was dressed and back on the combat deck, surveying the damage control in progress, not really listening to Miranda complain as the other woman followed behind.

“--Did _not_ invest two years into you for you to promptly work yourself to death, Shepard.”

She finally turned around and eyed her XO. “Lawson,” she said, aware that her tone was too sharp. “If I could sleep, I damn well _would_.” Highly unlikely that Miranda would get it, but every time she closed her eyes she saw… _things_ , and not just recent things. “You may have put me back together, but you aren’t my mother. Stop being a pain in my ass.”

Miranda inclined her head just slightly. “Understood.”

“Thanks. I’m going to go see how Joker’s doing.”

“Very well, Shepard.”


	43. Prompt: Lipstick

He _knew_ he shouldn't have been surprised when she stepped out all prettied up, but he couldn't help it. "Uh, wow?" Joker tried. "Doll, you look... great."

"What? You think just because I can kick your ass I can't clean up nice? Remember what I told Shepard about the foil miniskirt and thigh-high boots?"

"Yeah. _Worst time ever_ to start listening to the comm traffic, y'know. Think I scared Pressly. And no thigh-high boots tonight?"

Ashley made as if to hit him, but reconsidered and just shook her head. "Told Shepard he'd have to buy me dinner first. Same goes for you. You're lucky you got lipstick, Flight Lieutenant."

"But Shepard makes more than I do."

She rolled her eyes and gently tugged him along behind her toward the airlock. "You can't buy me dinner? I don't buy it. My father supported four kids and managed to take my mother out to dinner a couple times a year and you outrank him."

"Fine. I guess I can buy you dinner."

"Smart move, Joker. Smart move. You might get more than lipstick out of this."


	44. Prompt: Running scared, pt. 2

Jack got up from her cot down in the bowels of the ship and glared at her, hard. "What the fuck do you _want_ , Shepard?"

"Want?" She repeated, feeling stupid as she frowned at the young woman. "What do you mean, Jack?"

Jack snorted and stomped around the hold, tossing an unloaded thermal clip from hand to hand. "Don't bullshit me, _Commander_. Don't even try. You keep coming down here, so you gotta want something from me. What is it?"

"I--" Shepard raked her fingers through her hair, realizing what she'd gotten herself into. "I don't want _anything_ from you, Jack."

That didn't help. Jack tossed the clip aside and closed the distance between them with alarming speed. They were nearly nose-to-nose when she asked, "Didn't I tell you _not_ to fucking bullshit me, Shepard?"

She straightened up, using the scant bit of height she had over Jack. "Would I bullshit you? I've been straight with you so far, haven't I?"

"Whatever. I kill for you, that's usually good enough. But you keep coming down here like I'm your damn buddy or something. I'm not. What the hell do you want from me? Is it sex? You want me so you can throw me away when you're done?"

 _Chambers was right. For Christ's sake_. "Jack, shut the hell up and listen to me. I'm only gonna say this once. I don't want a damned thing from you. I come down here to see how you're doing and that's _it_."

Jack blinked twice and stepped off the tiniest bit. "Why? Why the fuck do you care?"

"I was like you once, you know. Pissed off dangerous bitch who'd been kicked around like a piece of shit by everyone she'd ever met. I _get it_. I get why shutting yourself down here is safe to you.

"Bullshit! You don't--you do, don't you?" The younger woman laughed, turning away from her a moment, and then turned back. "You? Straight-laced Shepard who makes nice with the Cheerleader? Shit, I don't believe that."

Shepard exhaled slowly. "Sit the fuck down and I'll tell you about when I was a gun-running kid with no name back on Earth."


	45. Prompt: one more day

After the Collectors, after the Reapers, and after Shepard discovers that there's a Little Shepard on the way, Ash takes him to meet her family.

Her mother and sisters are welcoming and somehow, he's not surprised to see that his girl takes after her mom.

She even takes him to see her father, buried in the station's small cemetery.

"You raised a hell of a daughter, sir," he says to the serviceman's gravestone. "I wish you could see her now."

"He can," Ashley says with conviction. "Well, that's what I believe." She lays her hand on her father's headstone and says, "But damn it, I'd give it all up just to have him for one more day. Just one." There are tears in her eyes that aren't falling.

"Aw, hell, Doll. I know." He reaches for her and kisses her forehead. "I know. You always want them back when they're gone. It sucks."


End file.
